CoAbode

Celebrating Milestones, By Suzanne Rock:

The first experience I had of ritual was a blessing way my mother created for me when I was twenty six and pregnant with my first child.

In my late teens and early twenties my mom was in a woman’s group that met twice a month for almost 8 years. She kept inviting me but it never sounded appealing. In fact I thought it sounded like some cult or satanic ritual. She talked about sitting in a circle with other women, celebrating the seasons and each other lives. It sounded weird and I wanted nothing to do with it. When I got pregnant she begged me to let her throw me a “Baby Shower” or a Blessing Way as she called it. I reluctantly agreed.

The day came and she had me stay in my room while she was getting ready. I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to experience. She led me out of my room through a walkway of candles and flowers into the living room where 12 of my closest women’s friends were waiting for me. They were sitting in a circle around a candle lit center altar. The room was filled with gorgeous flower arrangements and candles everywhere. I’ll never forget how my girlfriend’s eyes were filled with such love. And then it began. My sister started talking about this important transition that I was about to go through, the passage from maiden to motherhood. As she spoke and sang to me and styled my hair. She put flowers in it to symbolize my transformation. My mother then washed my feet in rose petals and warm water as a gesture of love and support. Then each one of my girlfriend’s read a poem or prayer about the blessings of motherhood and why they think I’ll make a good mother. I’ve never felt so seen, loved and cherished. They gave me gifts from the heart. One friend gave me a scarf her mother gave her; another gave me stones from moon beach that she specifically picked out with me in mind. Then they each picked up a tall taper candle and placed it in a sand filled bowl, lit it and offered me qualities that would support me while I was in labor, like, strength, endurance, laughter and ease. When they were all placed in the bowl I blew them out and was asked to light them again when I was in labor. I can honestly say that this was one of the most profound experiences of my life. We then ate, talked and laughed for hours.

I remember looking at my mom after it was all over and said, “This is ritual?” she said, ‘Yes, I’ve been trying to tell you.” And the only thing that came to mind was, “Wow, I’m hooked!”